Proper cigar lounge etiquette is about respect—for the lounge, the staff, and other smokers. Whether it’s your first visit or your hundredth, following these unwritten rules ensures you’re always welcome back. Haven’t been yet or thinking of going to a cigar lounge? Follow me as I guide you on the do’s and don’ts of cigar lounges.
First of all, I feel I need to say this above all else, buy something and don’t be “that guy”. Most retail stores that allow smoking will require this no matter what. However some lounges will be a little more lenient but might charge you a “cutting fee” to carry your own cigars in and/or sometimes waive that fee as long as you spend so much in alcohol. No matter what you do, purchase at least a couple of cigars in their humidor. You can smoke your own stuff if they allow it, but do not take advantage of the situation. Most lounges survive on cigar and drink sales and by bypassing this you just come across rude and selfish.
One of the only exceptions to this rule is if you are a paid member with a personal locker at the lounge. In this case, you are already paying to be there and store cigars that you, most likely, purchased from that lounge to begin with.
Next on the list is cutting and lighting your cigar properly. If you haven’t already, check out our guides on proper cigar cutting and proper cigar lighting. Poor technique affects everyone around you and can give you a poor experience. If you are having your first cigar at your first lounge visit, do not hesitate to ask the staff to help you cut and light. One of the most important parts in this section I like to tell everyone is if you are using a lounge/stores cutters and lighters, please be respectful of them. Use them properly and don’t steal them. In addition, for the love of god, please do not put the cigar in your mouth and then proceed to use the store cutter. I feel like I should not have to explain why this is such a no-no.
Now that you have your cigar cut and lit and have a place to sit and enjoy it comes what you do with the smoke from your cigar. Smoke happens, but control matters. First off, do not blow your smoke in anyones face or general direction if sitting in close quarters. Avoid rapid puffing as it overheats the cigar, create a bitterness to the taste and stinks up the room. It also creates an unnecessary amount of smoke for everyone around you to breathe in. Good practices are exhale upward or downward and not directly at people. If necessary, adjust your seating if your smoke drifts heavily.
Ashtray etiquette is one of the things that bothers me the most. Shared spaces mean shared responsibility so please, use the ashtrays properly. First of all, I don’t care what anyone tells you, do not put any trash including but not limited to bands, ribbons, cedar sleeves and most of all cellophane in the ashtray. This is straight ignorance and anyone who tells you “it doesn’t matter” is ignorant. The last thing I want to face when using an ashtray in a lounge is one full of trash and debris. Get up and bring it to the trash barrel in the lounge or kindly ask a waitstaff person to discard it for you.
The second thing is keep the ash in the tray! What is the point of using an ashtray if there is a mess of ash all over you, the seat, the table etc. Be neat and be gentleman/lady and do not be a slob. Softy break the ash inside of the tray and then let the cigar rest. Give it some light taps inside the ashtray to help break off any unwanted ash. Do not slam the cigar against the tray or your finger a foot above the ash tray. You aren’t ripping butts and you don’t want to crack the wrapper on your cigar. Accidents happen and if you drop ash on the floor or yourself it is ok. But do not make it a habit.
Cigar lounges are social—but not every table wants company. Learn how to read the room if you do not know already. Some people prefer to enjoy their lounge time alone and uninterrupted. Others are much more social. If you are looking to be social join a social area by asking if you may join. In anywise, keep your phone calls to a minimum or take them elsewhere. Cigar lounges are often the place where some of the best conversations and social connections happen anywhere in the world. But be respectful and don’t engage inane topics you feel might be controversial. Nobody wants their cigar time ruined because that one guy had to start an argument.
Lounge staff set the tone and they can either be your best friend or your worst enemy depending on how you treat them. If you are in a lounge that serves alcohol, always be patient, respectful and mindful of the staff. Tipping well and being social will get you much farther, maybe even with some perks or bonuses. Avoid getting too intoxicated and making a fool of yourself or you absolutely will find yourself kicked out and unwelcome back. Ask about changing TV stations or rearranging furniture and do not just get up and do it yourself, this is also a huge no-no. If you don’t know something just ask, most staff are great hosts in lounges. Staff will often go out of their way for respectful guests.
Coinciding with the last paragraph, lounges aren’t offices or bedrooms. Be mindful of busy nights and limited seating, long stays during peak hours, and personal items taking up chairs. Do not overstay, especially if you aren’t smoking. I have watched many people on Friday and Saturday nights in packed lounges finish a cigar and a drink and continue to just “hang out” and take up space while others are struggling to find a spot to sit down and set up for their experience. It is the same as hogging a table at a restaurant after you have already paid. If it’s packed, finish up gracefully and head out.
Cigar culture thrives on generosity, not gatekeeping. Be open to helping others who might be newer to cigars. Engage in social norms of conversation and be respectful to everyone’s level of expertise. Don’t be the person who smokes $45 Davidoffs and sits and brags about them. Make the lounge experience the best it can be for all who are there and not your personal stage.
